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So, I've been in a contemplative, reflective mood the past few days and in the course of thinking and pondering I have figured out a couple things about myself. Every so often I get in this funk where no matter what happens I cannot shake this feeling of gloom. I am presently in that state of mind. Through the use of my journal I have been able to reflect on each day and I realized my solemn state coincides with when Joe is at work for more than 3 days in a row. I think this week he works 8 days in a row with only a couple nights home. I consider myself as pretty independent but it's nice to have the companionship and the closeness of my best friend and lover. When he is gone long stretches I only have the companionship of our six beautiful children.

So, this is pretty much going to be a venting post. Venting my fears of going under the knife! I had a doctor's appointment today with the ear, nose, throat doc and he is strongly recommending me having my tonsils removed. I was so nervous just for the appointment today, I can't even imagine how my stomach is going to feel the day of the surgery. I learned a few things today:
1. I could never survive solitary confinement! I sat in the little room for 2 hours with nothing to do but watch the seconds tick away on the digital clock, and that is precisely what I did. Ok, I didn't just watch the clock, I did mathematically related activites in my head while watching the clock. Without a clock I would've gone nuts. I'm not used to being able to just sit with no noise, no kids, no book, no nothing!
2. I learned that since I've previously had a para-something absess behind my tonsil I'm 40% more likely to get another one and the next time it could be a lot worse (I'm not sure what could get worse than 3 antibiotics and vicadin but I didn't say anything!) and involve my neck and chest.

For the past 2 weeks Eliza has been begging me, pleading to me, bribing me ("I'll give you a dollar mom") to let her get her ears pierced. Finally, I decided that she was old enough to make that decision. So, this morning she wrote me a note telling me what a great mom I am and that she loves me. The last line of the note said, "I've been wondering if I could get my ears persed today. I love you." I thought, I guess today is as good of a day as any so I took the 3 girls and we headed out to get her ears pierced. I told her that she needed to decide before we left whether or not she was going to follow through and actually do it or chicken out once we got there. She assured me that this was what she wanted to do. So, I signed all the paperwork and she picked out the earrings she wanted and then she freaked out. She denied ever wanting them pierced. I had told the guy that my daughter wanted to get her ears pierced and at this point I'm sure he was thinking "Yeah right lady, I'm sure this was your daughter's idea." After 10 minutes of me trying to soothe her and remind her that she did indeed beg me for this oppurtunity she finally got brave and let them near her.

I didn't want to leave my last post at the top very long due to its graphic nature so here's what new at our house. I heard from my sister all about this great co-op called Bountiful Baskets where you can get 30lbs of fruits and veggies for $15. I thought it was too good to be true but alas it was not. Today was our second time getting the basket. I have to say, this time the fruits and veggies are more to our tastes than last time! It's fun though, you never no what you're going to get and you can't beat the price. This week we got corn on the cob, strawberries, sweet potatoes, tomotoes, pineapple, really large grapefruit type things, apples, cucumbers, bananas, baby spinach, melon, and a butternut squash.

This is what I have been fighting against all week. (This is my throat!!)Not fun! Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who has not only taken off work to take care of me and the kids but he's kept the house running smoothly. He's got the kids ready for school, made sure homework got done, did the dishes, cleaned the toy room, kept the house vacuumed, made all the meals, and made sure I slept and brought me my drugs. I think today things are starting to look up. The swelling in my tonsil is going down and the pain has lessened by a small degree. After 2 doctor visits, 2 different antibiotics, a priesthood blessing, and lots and lots of pain I hope to never have this happen again. I could never have made it through this week without my Joe.